rying a new sex toy is fun — especially when you receive it as a product to test. I recently received a remote-controlled vibrator that I was eager to test. It’s supposed to stimulate the user’s g-spot and give clitoral stimulation at the same time. The possibility of a blended orgasm?

Game on.

My in-laws moved in with us a couple of months ago, so spontaneous playtime hasn’t been regularly occurring. Last night, they borrowed our vehicle for a shopping trip into town. Additionally, our two-year old was spending the night with his other grandma.

Game even further on: we were alone and had a new toy. It was time for some adult fun in the not-so-private space of our living room.

Winking lewdly at my husband, I skipped off to our bedroom to insert the toy. I thought it might be a little awkward, and I was right. The little bastard didn’t slide in as easily as I wanted. A drop of lube later and I was ready to sashay into the living room.

I was wearing a skirt; I wanted to feel sexy and give him unfettered access to my pussy. I handed my darling the remote and settled in for some good vibrations.

Lying on the couch across from him, I rocked my hips in time to the vibrations from the toy. He varied the speed and I could tell I was getting close to an orgasm. I flipped over onto my stomach and raised my hips in the air.

You know, just like a cat in heat.

Four things happened in quick succession.

I began to orgasm complete with squirting. The dog freaked out and started barking like someone was breaking into the house. The front door opened. And I finished having an orgasm by shooting the toy out of my vagina and across the room.

My in-laws were back. My mother-in-law forgot her purse and realized it once they got about 15 minutes down the road.

Here I was, skirt around my waist, sex toy shooting across the floor, ass in the air, with a puddle of fluid underneath me.

I casually got up, pulled down my skirt, picked up the toy, and walked to the bedroom. No words were necessary. My husband followed quickly behind, unwilling to face the woman who gave birth to him after the scene she witnessed.

My face was flushed from all the sexy action and being discovered. I enjoy voyeurism and being an exhibitionist in the right setting. The thrill of possibly being discovered is a high. It heightens your senses and makes your body tingle all over.

The right setting, however, is not being discovered by your in-laws. I feel no shame about what happened and it’s doubtful I learned my lesson. There’s not a chance in the world it will be the last time I pull up my skirts in my living room, but next time, I’ll be sure not to face the door.

Demeter DeLune is a writer forged from the fires of desire. You can join her mailing list here.